Happy Birthday Random Acts of Kindness

My second day of doing Random Acts of Kindness was my actual birthday.  I knew it would be a busy but low key day for me.  My hubby was out of town and wouldn’t be back until the weekend.  I had planned to go the the gym (I’ll do anything for that stress-free shower), pick up a few groceries, volunteer at Josh’s school, and enjoy doing an afternoon full of Random Acts of Kindness.  Of course things don’t often end up the way I plan.  Maybe the universe is trying to teach me to be more flexible.  I’d like to think it’s some special life lesson rather than the universe toying with me for it’s own pleasure.  I am a little suspicious though..

I still got to go to the gym and shower,  shop for groceries, and volunteer at Josh’s school.  I got to do a few Random Acts of Kindness, but not as many as I planned or even the ones I had planned.  But sometimes what you have planned isn’t really what needs to be done the most.

Here are my Random Acts of Kindness continued:

5) Be home to wake up hubby.  Sound like a weird one?  It is.  In a surprise twist, I woke up on my birthday to a text from Jesse that he was coming home early from his trip and would be here soon.  Aww, sweet right?  Leaving a business trip early to spend the day with his wife?  Yep, my hubby is a pretty sweet guy, but remember – the universe likes to toy with me.  (I mean, teach me life lessons.)  It was duty calling that cut his trip short and brought him home.  Something very serious had happened at work that needed his attention.  He showed up at the house first thing in the morning looking pretty exhausted.  Instead of sleeping that night, he had driven three hours and gone in to work.  Talk about dedicated.  The only thing allowed to intrude on my sleep is a tiny person that shacked up inside my womb for nine months.  There are four such creatures on this earth and even their all-nighter privileges have been revoked.  So this exhausted & stressed hubby of mine was home for a nap before showering and heading back in to work in a few hours.  On his way upstairs, he asked me if I would be home at noon.  And if so, would I make sure he was awake so he could get back to work in time for a meeting.  Well, no I wasn’t planning on being home then.  Remember those RAOK I had planned to do?  I would surely be out doing random nice things for strangers.  Busy crossing random acts off of my kindness checklist.  Thankfully it didn’t take me long to realize that a Random Act of Kindness for someone I love would be the top priority that day.  So my answer was yes, I’ll be home to make sure you wake up on time.  I knew he was exhausted.  And I knew that once his head hit the pillow and he stopped worrying about work for two seconds – that man was going to crash and crash hard.  No alarm clock is a match for that kind of tired.  So Jesse went upstairs to squeeze 8 hours of rest into a three hour nap and I headed to the gym for that shower.  It was 12:01 when I shook him awake.  There was no sign that an alarm clock had ever even attempted to pry open his sleepy eyes.   It must have admitted defeat and turned itself off to avoid further humiliation.

6)  Leave money on a soda machine.  I did this in the teachers’ lounge at Josh’s elementary school.   It was the perfect place.  As I taped the money to the soda machine, I realized that I should to do little random things for them more often.  Maybe I’ll sneak in and drop off cookies or leave a dollar on the soda machine once every week or so.  With all the talks of budget cuts and larger class sizes, they could use some random kindness along the way.

Leaving quarters for the gumball machines

7)  Leave quarters on bubble gum machines at the mall.  Amazingly, this might have taken the most effort.   I think the universe tried to get to me to go home and enjoy a glass of wine, but I was stubborn and refused to listen.

I took all four kids.  To the mall.  At dinner time.

Our first stop was for food.  Well, actually cash, because Noah wanted Teriayki chicken from the Japanese place in the mall and they don’t take debit cards.  I had money for the candy machines, but not enough for dinner.  So a quick stop to the ATM and I’d be on my way.  Have you ever swiped your ATM card and had the machine completely freeze for five minutes?  I have now.  It instills a bit of panic as you wonder why and are afraid to leave in case it spews money and a receipt with your bank balance on it the moment you walk away.  Finally, it started working again, but it was out of cash.  “Go home” said the universe.  I can’t bring myself to admit what we ended up eating for dinner that night.

Please can I have gum?

Next stop:  get quarters.  The local mall has what seems to be about 900 quarter machines for gum and candy.  And about 200 of those lovely ride-on toys.  You know, the rocket ship, ice cream truck, and monster truck that take 3-4 quarters for each 30 second ride.  And I can’t forget the 50 machines where you try to maneuver the mechanical claw to grab a prize from a bin crammed tight with stuffed animals and toys too big or too heavy for that claw.  (I may exaggerate my numbers a tiny bit.)   Kids all over New Hampshire must be in therapy from shopping and having to pass by a gauntlet of toys taunting them with their shiny colors and bright flashing lights.  Taking kids to the mall here without a quarter is like taking them to Chuck E. Cheese only to eat pizza. With all those machines, I knew they had to have a change machine.  But where?  Unfortunately the guy working at Guest Services had no idea if there was a change machine in the mall nor where it would be if they did have one.  I found it though.  On the absolute other side of the mall.  With four kids in tow.  Did I mention they weren’t getting along very well?  (Perhaps it should be one of my Random Acts of Kindness that I didn’t leave them in a dressing room at the Gap.)

Finally we were able to leave quarters on the machines.  It was fun thinking about the excited kids that would find them.  Noah and Riley both thought they should be one of those lucky kids.  So we re-taped them back to the machines and disappeared to let them be discovered.  Then I scurried home for the night to avoid further punishment so I could continue in the morning.

8)  Take snacks to the guys working with my husband.  Remember how it’s been really stressful for him at work right now?  If they are too busy to sleep, they probably aren’t taking the time to eat either.  It seemed like the perfect opportunity to send some love their way.  I thought they might need a bit of nourishment to keep them fueled during their marathon work weekend.  I bought bottled water, apples, bananas, strawberries, granola bars, pretzels and nuts for the guys and we surprised Jesse at work with our goodies.  It was a bonus for the kids, because he happened to have a few minutes to spare to hang out with them.  Hopefully he dropped one of those apples in his pocket before he rushed back off to save the world.

9)  Let someone go ahead of me at the checkout line.  It felt good.  It might have taken me an extra two minutes to check out.  But it sure did make the lady happy.

10)  Pick up an item someone drops.  I wouldn’t normally go out of my way to pick up a lady’s Chap-stick when it falls right under her feet.  But I was making an effort to do Random Acts of Kindness and I couldn’t let an opportunity pass me by.  She thanked me and went about her business.  But then she turned back and started a conversation with me.  I was thrilled.  This time I got to reap the rewards of my good deed.  It’s not that I wanted to get something back from it.  It was that I saw firsthand that it made a difference.

Surprise in the Target dollar bin

11)  Leave dollars in the dollar bins at Target.  Target is my second home so naturally I should do a RAOK there.  We left a few dollars hidden among the toys and jetted off to spend more money on things we don’t need.

Megan at the Open Barn

12)  Make an extra effort to thank someone.  Us introverts don’t always like to say nice things to strangers.  We think them, we just don’t always say them.  Now I always try to say “thank you”, I just don’t elaborate very much.  So I made an extra effort to say a proper thank you.  The local high school has an Animal Science program and they have a barn.  Yes, they have an actual barn with a cow, horse, sheep, alpacas, bunnies, geese, a donkey, etc.  The school held an “Open Barn” which was staffed by the high school students in the program.  They shared cute facts about the animals and let us pet them.  We were there for almost an hour and one student in particular practically followed us around so she could tell us about the animals.  As we were walking out to the car, I realized I hadn’t thanked her since she was busy talking to another family when we left.  I walked back in and thanked for volunteering her Saturday so we could enjoy the animals.  I felt great leaving there with her knowing that her time and effort was appreciated.  As a side note, newborn bunnies must be the most adorable things on the planet.

These were all the Random Acts of Kindness the kids and I were able to do in two days.  Since I want them to experience this with me, I have to work around school schedules and sporting events.  The kids are having fun but they’re most looking forward to the Random Acts of Kindness we have planned for tomorrow.  I love that they are excited about it.

Life Changes in an Instant

I spend a lot of time wrapped up in the details of daily life.  It’s chaotic.  I shop for groceries, I feed the kids, then I shop for more groceries.  I try to keep Riley from sticking his finger in the light socket.  I wash the laundry.  Everybody feels the need to wear clothes on a daily basis, so I wash it again.  Kids get sick.  Then they go to the doctor.  Then another kid gets sick.  I could go on for a while…

And as I shuttle kids to doctor and dentist appointments and try to decide what to do for dinner even though I’ll be driving Josh to lacrosse practice when I need to be cooking that dinner, I can feel a bit overwhelmed.  And impatient.  I don’t have time to wait in a checkout lane while someone searches their bag for a coupon.  I need to get home before Riley has a lack-of-nap meltdown.  And no I don’t want to let you merge into my lane since you waited until the last possible moment to do so.  I get wrapped up in my daily life and I miss the fact that people around me are hurting.  That person at the checkout taking forever with their coupons may have just lost their job.  The last minute merger may be on the way to the hospital.  And the mom at Target letting her toddler throw a temper tantrum may have just become a widow.

One day those hurting people were just like me.  Not problem-free, but content and comfortable.  Perhaps their biggest dilemma of the day was how to get two kids to two different places at the same time, not realizing that it’s a pretty good problem to have.  And then something unthinkable happens.  Maybe it’s a car accident, a cheating spouse, or the death of a loved one.  Everything changes instantly.  Now your worries are huge.  Now the daily grind of life would be a dream come true.

A friend of mine experienced that kind of change today.  She lost a child today.  She lost her sweet little boy.  I’m overwhelmed with grief and sympathy for her.  I lot of tears were shed in our house today as we tried to imagine the pain she and her family are feeling.  Wondering how she’ll manage to get out of bed tomorrow and imagining what she will feel when she finds a tiny sock  in the laundry.  It’s a helpless feeling to be far away from someone on the worst day of their life.  I know there is nothing I can say or do to take away any of her pain.  But I wish so badly that I could.  I wish that there was some magical thing I could do that would heal her heart a little.  I know there isn’t, so I will have to just say a lot of prayers for her and let her know I’m thinking about her.

I’m also thinking about how her life will  have to continue.  Days from now, she’ll have to pull herself out of the house to take one of her girls to a doctor appointment or pick up milk at the grocery store.  And although every step out the door might feel like knives in her heart, she’ll do it because she’s a mom and her two girls need her.  So she’s probably going to be the mom in Target letting her toddler throw a tantrum because she won’t have the strength at the time to do anything other than push her cart through the checkout line.  And she’ll probably cut someone off in traffic and she may not be polite to a server at a restaurant.  But strangers around her won’t know why.  They will be wrapped up in the daily grind of their lives wondering why that mom isn’t paying attention or isn’t being polite.    She won’t be trying to be rude, she’ll just be trying to get through the task at hand so she can go home and cry.  She won’t need the finger or a lecture on parenting.  What she will really need is a hug or a kind word or a smile.  She will need someone to make a tiny effort to show her love.  And she’ll need it often.

I won’t be able to be there to give her a random hug or a smile.  I won’t be there to return her shopping cart to the store while she buckles her toddler into the car.  I won’t be able to let her go ahead of me in the checkout line when her daughter is crying and I won’t be able buy her a cup of coffee when she goes to Starbucks.  But I can do that for someone here.  I can be kind and show love to people, even when they don’t seem to deserve it.  And I can remember that there is always someone around me that is hurting.  And if we all do those things, maybe that hug or smile will make it’s way to her.

-Kristi

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” –Plato

Happy Birthday to Me

My birthday brownie dessert made by Megan

So it seems that all good things come from Pinterest.  I’m sure most Pinterest-ing people have come across some form of the RAOK (Random Acts of Kindness) pins.  I did and was inspired by people who spent their birthdays doing Random Acts of Kindness.  I immediately knew this was how I wanted to spend my birthday and told my family so months ago.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are lots of things I can think that I’d love to receive, but I had a feeling I’d get a lot more joy from giving this year.  The family was on board, although I’m not sure they really grasped that it meant “no presents for mom”.   Now you can’t expect a 4 year old to grasp that concept.  Birthday = presents.  Period.  But I did giggle a bit when my husband started asking what I wanted for my birthday.  I tried to explain that this IS my present, but I didn’t push it too much knowing that HE didn’t want to have to tell the 4 year old that he’s not allowed to buy a present for mommy.

For months I envisioned how my day would go.  I’d spend the morning delivering goodies and doing nice things for people with the youngest kids, Noah and Riley.  We’d come home, have a relaxing lunch, let Riley take a nap (he might be skinny but he resembles a giant bear when he’s tired), and I’d continue the adventure with the big kids when Dad got home from work.   Perfect.  No stress and all four kids get to help me and experience what it feels like to do nice things for others.  Then life with four kids and a husband in the Navy took over as it usually does.  Josh started playing lacrosse and of course practice is scheduled for that night.  Darn.  Then hubby calls (no way he’s telling me this in person) and tells me he has to go out of town and will be gone the week of my birthday.  I won’t mention what words I may or may not have muttered under my breath at this bit of news.  I growled a bit and then moved on to Plan B.

So here is Plan B:  Do what I can.  No set number of RAOK.  I’m not stressing myself out by doing one for every year of my age.  Frankly I’m just not sure I can think of that many.  Geez.  Why didn’t they have Pinterest when I turned 20?  It would have been so much easier to work with that number rather than the one I’m looking at.  So I started my list and started gathering supplies.  Then I started baking, because that’s what I love to do.  And so my RAOK began.  And it started the day before my birthday.   And I plan to continue it for several days after my birthday.  With four busy kids and no hubby home, there’s no way I can do it all in one day.  But that’s okay, because I get to experience the joy for more than one day.  And my kids will be able to enjoy it with me and even my unsuspecting husband will get to tag along when he gets home.

Disclaimer:  I am not the most outgoing person you’ll ever meet.  I don’t typically go up to strangers and give them things.  I can be a bit of an introvert and praise makes me uncomfortable.  So doing this is not quite in my comfort zone.  But that’s part of the magic too.

So here are my Random Acts of Kindness for DAY 1:

Mocha Caramel Cupcake

1)  Take cupcakes to women who provide childcare at the gym.  These women are fantastic.  They take great care of my babies while I get to go work out and shower uninterrupted 4 days a week.  Did I mention I get to shower uninterrupted?  That just might be my favorite part.  Riley loves them as much, if not more than I do.  His first move when he arrives is to either: show them his belly button, try to hide from them or latch himself on to one of them like a baby monkey and snuggle the life out of them.  One of his favorite child care providers only works on Wednesdays so I had to begin my RAOK a day early so she would be there.  As for the cupcakes, I made Mocha Caramel cupcakes.  A chocolate & coffee cupcake with caramel buttercream topped with toffee bits and a caramel drizzle.  You should be in sugar shock just reading about them.  And yes, I realize that it sounds odd to take cupcakes to a gym.  Seems like it defeats the purpose, huh?

Noah “screeching” because Riley is “hogging” the evil balloons

2)  Give away balloons.  This one just happened unexpectedly.  After leaving the gym (yes, I did work out and SHOWER while I was there), we headed over to the Dollar Tree for some supplies.  While I was there I bought five Mylar balloons.  I had only planned to buy three for my next delivery, but something told me to get a few more.  Divine intervention?  In the parking lot, I decided I should get a sweet picture of Noah and Riley holding the balloons in front of the store.  I wanted to document our RAOK in photos.  As I’m taking a picture of Riley hogging the balloons and Noah screeching about it, a mom walked out of the store with her two young kids.  I heard the little boy say to his mom that he wanted a balloon.  If you don’t have kids, I should explain the balloon dilemma to you.  Moms despise their existence.  Mainly because any time a kids sees another kid with a balloon, they have to have one.  Balloon ownership is one of those things that is supposed to be “fair and square”.  It’s a written rule.  Article 47.8c of the Child Rule Book states that “no child shall possess, own, nor hold or even touch a balloon in the presence of another child without that child receiving a balloon also.”  Failure to comply results in whining, begging and crying.  So I knew what I needed to do.  The kids and I walked over and gave those kids each a balloon.  Now the mom was trying to buckle her kids into the car when I approached her, and I’m pretty sure she thought I was nuts.  She might have even wanted to kick me for giving them balloons after she most likely spent several minutes telling her kids they couldn’t have a balloon, they had to leave, etc, etc.  Oops.  Hopefully she appreciated the gesture once the kids were safely buckled and flinging the balloons all over the car while she tried to drive home.  Oops again.

Yep, those are the cupcakes he’s holding

3)  Take cupcakes and balloons to ICU unit at the hospital.  This one may end up being my favorite.  We took three boxes of those Mocha Caramel cupcakes to the hospital along with the three Mylar balloons we had left.  I attempted to let Riley carry a small box of cupcakes which is why we took three instead of four.  That fourth box had to come home with us after he shook it over his head.  Not so presentable after that.  So Noah, Riley and I walked in the hospital and asked for directions to ICU at the reception desk.  I had to explain what I was doing since I wasn’t there to visit a particular patient.  It threw them off for a moment, but then they were super kind and helpful when I explained it was a Random Act of Kindness.  They walked us up to ICU and had the ICU manager come meet us so we could give them to her.  Again a lot of explaining.  One box of cupcakes was meant for the nurses in the unit.  The other two boxes of cupcakes and the balloons were to go to families visiting loved ones in the ICU.  She was so surprised thanked me over and over.  I managed to walk away without tearing up but it was a pretty close call.

A little background on why we chose the ICU.  Several months ago my mom was having dinner with a friend when her friend got the phone call no one wants to get.  Her significant other, Doug, had been in a very bad motorcycle accident three hours away and she should get there as soon as possible.  They drove to DC and my mom stayed by her side the first week while she sat in the ICU waiting room hoping and praying he would survive.  He was in rough shape, but fortunately no one had told them that there was a 0% chance of survival with the injuries he had.  Zero.  He spent weeks (months) in ICU fighting for his life and she spent weeks (months) sitting there hoping and praying he would survive.  The nurses took great care of them both.  It’s a true miracle that he did survive and is recovering.  During the time my mom was there with her friend, Doug’s co-workers visited the ICU and brought them goodies.  Just some junk food to snack on.  Just a little something so they would know someone was thinking about them.  So that’s what we did today.  Hopefully someone’s family will get a tiny bit of comfort or joy (or a cavity) from some goodies that a stranger dropped off for them when things were rough.

4)  Leave a big tip.  Pretty self explanatory.  I took the kids out for lunch and left the waitress double the normal tip.  It was double what I would have normally left her, but ended up being a 225% tip.  Something pretty amazing happened to me today.  As I was out and about doing my RAOK, the universe was nice back to me.  People held doors open for me, they let me park in the drop-off area at the hospital, and the waitress at lunch didn’t charge me for the buffet for Noah or Riley.  She only charged me for my meal.  Divine intervention again?  I’m taking it as a sign that I’m doing the right thing.

This was all I was able to do on Day 1.  Riley needed a nap, the big kids were coming home from school, and Josh had a lacrosse scrimmage.  But even though I only did a few things, it felt really incredible.  So I’m off to prepare for my next Random Acts of Kindness tomorrow.